- - Forgive me, but some people get awfully wimpy when it gets hot. If you've walked on this earth for a few decades, probably you can remember when not every place was air conditioned; go back a bit further, and the majority of places were not air conditioned. I've attended non-air conditioned schools and shopped in non-air conditioned stores and markets; I've lived in non-air conditioned houses, resided in non-air conditioned dorms, and ridden in plenty of non-air conditioned cars on the hottest of summer days. I didn't die...sure, it was hot and it was uncomfortable, but everyone else was likewise suffering. It's just the way that it was in the not horribly distant past. To state the obvious, most of human existence occurred prior to the widespread use of air conditioning. People tend too often these days to confuse inconveniences with real problems.
There was a time when only ritzy stores and movie theaters boasted air conditioning; theaters would post signs outside to lure you in that said, "Come on in...it's COOL inside!" It was a real treat to go inside a movie theater for a few hours back then to escape the summer heat. Home treatments for hot days included cold drinks, popsickles, and maybe an electric fan. You'd sit outside at night because it was often cooler out after dark than inside within your house.
The vast majority of cars were of course not air conditioned, and you hoped that you could drive fast enough to get some cooling from open windows as you traveled; forget about keeping your hair neatly styled! Car upholstery in those days tended to be vinyl, which could get hot enough to burn skin when the vehicle sat out in the sun. Vinyl upholstery also doesn't breathe or allow much air circulation, so you sweated when you sat upon it and stuck to it.
All of this is submitted as a reminder that many today don't realize how good they really have it...and that the "good old days" weren't really that great!
- - I often amuse myself by imagining how alternative meanings of language might play out if implemented in reality. At a restaurant for breakfast, for example, I was told that Janice would be my server. Then my mind is off to the races...
Janice: (in tennis togs) "Hi, I'm Janice! I'll be your server today."
Myself: "Great!--Burn one in here, Janice!"
Janice: "Alright then!--Service! (tossing ball up)--* THWACK!*
Myself: "Good shot, Janice! Took out my water glass AND my coffee mug!"
Janice: "Thank you, Sir! Can I bring you anything else?"
Myself: "A bandage, perhaps? And maybe a hard-boiled egg?"
Janice: "I'll see what sociopathic eggs I can find in the kitchen, Sir."
In this manner, you can brighten up many dull events, and your companions will wonder why you are often smiling to yourself!
- - Hitting a craft store the other day for art supplies, I was taken by the fact that all summer seasonal items were out on the curb for clearance. Walking into the store, I felt like I had entered a time warp and exited sometime in late October...there were garlands of colored leaves for sale, as well as other items that I normally associate with later fall.
Now given the fact that we have just passed the 4th of July and that summer is a season I like to have around, I'm none too eager to rush into fall. But have you tried to buy summer merchandise recently?--Good luck, it's probably on the clearance rack, which can pose a problem if you're looking for a specific clothing item or size.
What this means for the consumer is that you've got to buy at least certain items several months in advance of anticipated need, which is no small trick if you're the kind of person who usually can't see with certainty beyond the coming week. To me, next month is the future. I don't have a handle on the fall yet, nor do I want to deal with it during the month of July. Always living several clicks ahead of the present is a good way to screw yourself up plus lose out on the advantages of the present moment, which many philosophers assure us is of the highest importance.
Rushing the seasons has contributed mightily to the expansion of Xmas into a several-month holiday observance...and mark my words, you'll see the beginnings of advance Xmas promotions shortly after Labor Day!
- - On this Earth Day, let's pause to remember that reuse is the highest form of recycling. In some areas, however, we're discouraged from doing that.
I walked into a Staples store recently to try and purchase a memory upgrade for an aging computer of mine, something about three or four years old. The kid who waited on me practically snickered when he heard about the age of the computer, telling me that they had nothing available and recommending that I look on the secondary market. A three or four year old computer is apparently judged fit only to be used as a paperweight or a doorstop; jeez, I've got socks and underwear in service older than that!
Not to be deterred, I went on eBay, and with a modest investment of time and money procured the memory I needed, elsewhere learning the details of its installation. After delivery, I installed the memory, quadrupling what was on the computer. With the added capacity, I was able to upgrade the operating system as well. My computer runs much faster now and can do everything that I want it to, plus I have the satisfaction of having saved it from a premature and unnecessary demise. It was a heck of a lot cheaper than an entire new system, too.
Reuse...it's a practice worth encouraging this Earth Day!
(...Presenting, "Lame Pun Raccoon!")
- - Those who wish we'd all get along like children have obviously never been a child. Some of the most vicious, hurtful, and potentially damaging things that have ever been done to me were done to me when I was a child by other children.
While under the age of ten, I was once dragged the length of a large swimming pool...underwater...by other older children. They pulled me by my legs so as to make it impossible for me to stand up and breathe. I never knew who my assailants were as they grabbed me from behind; fortunately I knew to hold my breath while being dragged underwater.
Once while walking through a secondary school cafeteria in my early teens, my mechanical pencil was ripped from my pocket by an older male who held the pencil by either end while his seat-mate karate-chopped the pencil in half. When I expressed my displeasure over their actions, the pieces of the pencil were thrown at my face, its jagged edges opening up cuts. I never even knew what their names were.
As a child while shoveling my parents' sidewalk free of snow one winter, this simple action or my odious presence was apparently enough to cause an older male child to start kicking snow back over the cleaned path. Again, I never even knew his name.
These cited examples are not all-inclusive, but are simply remembered instances that come to mind illustrating how cruel children can be to other children. Probably you can think of numerous other examples of your own from your own personal experiences.
--So we should all learn to get along like children?--Generally speaking, this is not a good idea!
-- The past is calling...and usually what it says is, "Wasn't it great?"
I usually get one or two e-mails a week of the type from well-intentional people that suggest that everything was better in the past. You know what I mean; they say things like, "Remember when you could leave your house unlocked and not worry?," or "Remember when you could leave your keys in the car and not have it stolen?"
Yeah, I do remember...but such flashes to the past are usually selective and far from comprehensive, regarding the past with rose-colored glasses. You never see a nostalgia item that proclaims, "Remember when blacks and gays were regarded as sub-human?," "Remember when we lived in fear that the Russians might bomb us back into the stone age?," "Remember when lots more people died at an earlier age?," or "Remember when religious and sexual bias were operational and institutionalized?" These things, too, were part of the past, but are conveniently excluded from too many flashbacks.
There were many cool, commendable, and noteworthy things about the past, but it was far from golden and returning to it might eliminate some problems but create others. All in all, it's well to remember that the "Good Old Days" weren't all that great...
- - The political far right loves to demonize President Obama as a dark-skinned, war-hating socialist who wants to give us all health care...
...they've apparently confused him with Jesus!
- - He stares at you from the news screen, looking like a demented Uncle Fester from The Addams Family; the Tucson, Arizona shooter.
If you have heard the inflammatory speech being issued in this country for years now against those of dissenting political views, you are perhaps not totally surprised that hateful speech has found translation into hateful action. Prolonged exposure to the politics of hate and extreme partisanship tends to incline marginal and emotionally disturbed minds in this direction.
The underlying mentality seems to be that if you disagree with the political philosophy of duly elected officials, it is acceptable to demonize and oppose them with every breath and every action that you take. Gone is the notion of "the loyal opposition" that accepts even if it dislikes the will of the majority, and works within the system to seek a common ground or at least awaits the next election to seek the installation of other candidates.
Political extremism and vicious intolerance are not American values, and must be repudiated by both political parties and any third parties that arise. We are also overdue to get serious about gun control in this country so that domestic terrorists and other warped fanatics can't continue to attempt to write their own versions of history drenched in blood and twisted in their own image...
I appreciate Xmas for different things, especially enjoying the subtle notes of irony and sarcasm which can underlie the fragile surface veneer of good will towards men supposed to characterize the season. As Xmas draws nearer, you can both see and hear how frazzled and worn many of the overworked and underpaid clerks are getting, like our good friend Jack as illustrated!
Waiting in a long line at the service desk of an area post office, I heard the attendant ask one of many customers if there was anything else he could do for her. While his words were properly what should have been said, his tone of voice, bordering on the edge of going postal, spoke an entirely different message that was absolutely marvelous!
--Ah, Christmas!--Is there anything else that so brings out the best and the worst in people?
- - Surely Leslie Nielsen can't be dead!
Yes, he is dead...and don't call him Shirley! Appearing in over 100 films including the Sci-Fi classic Forbidden Planet, Leslie Nielsen enjoyed great success as both a serious and comic actor. When you see him in a serious role in one of his earlier films like The Poseidon Adventure, you almost wait for Leslie to do or say something outrageous! The classic gags would come later in Airplane, Police Squad, and the Naked Gun series. Leslie enjoyed a second cinematic life in comedy, and was a natural master of it.
Thank you, Leslie Nielsen, for brightening our lives, and for doing a multitude of things well!
- -In the past five years I've been rear-ended twice by distracted drivers while stopped in the line of traffic, most recently while at a red light. Both accidents would have been easily avoided if the other driver had been paying attention to what they were supposed to have been doing, but no, the one was on a cell phone and the other was paying too much attention to their passenger!
Distracted driving is a serious problem compounded by other unsafe driving practices in common use such as following too closely! Remember how you're supposed to keep a car length behind the driver ahead for each 10 mph of speed?--It's true, folks! Follow that simple rule, and you'll have plenty of room to stop; don't, and you won't be able to...it's basic physics!
But back to distracted driving; I cringe every time that I see someone driving with a cell phone plastered to their ear. Most of the cell phone conversations being held by drivers are completely unnecessary, nothing that wouldn't wait until they were out of the car! Multi-tasking is a myth; in reality, multi-taskers are simply shifting their attention between one thing and the other, which isn't nearly good enough for potentially serious tasks such as driving where the circumstances and input variables can change rapidly, demanding, yes, your complete and undivided attention! While cell phones are a prime contributer to distracted driving, other potentially dangerous behaviors while driving and in motion include changing the radio or CD, eating, drinking, applying make-up, texting (God help us!), or paying too much attention to human or animal passengers.
Some states wiser than mine have already made it illegal to be using a cell phone while driving. Until such laws are universal, please hang up the damn phone, and drive!
I, for one, am ready for fall after one of the hottest summers on record. Well, fall is coming in with a full moon...So have yourselves a howling good time!!!
- - It's hard to believe that Michael Jackson's already been deceased for a year, and as for Elvis before him,
death has proven to be a smart career move for the late King of Pop. His estate has reportedly earned about a billion dollars since his demise, with Jackson recordings flying off the shelves that were previously languishing there.
Now that Michael's gone, we'll also be hearing some new recordings, with the singer having recorded over 100 songs, many of which were not to be released until after his death, a gift to his children. All of this means that "Blanket" won't have to worry about funds for college...
- - In Ohio a six-story statue of Jesus constructed of wood and styrofoam over a steel frame was struck by lightning, and burned to the ground. Dubbed the "Touchdown Jesus" because of the statue's pose, only the steel frame remains.
This brings to mind the scene in The Terminator movie where the T-800 has his human flesh burned away, leaving just the metallic endoskeleton marching about, still a deadly menace to the human characters...
...and wouldn't a six-story Jesus endoskeleton on the rampage be totally cool?
- - There's a lot of really bad art hanging in restaurants, especially in the one- or two-star ones that I frequent (it's all about money, really)! There's actually more bad art than good art about, and some of it is really interesting as you can sit there and ponder what the artists did wrong!
On one wall of one such restaurant, there's a still life featuring the classic basket of fruit, but this one is done so poorly that it makes wax fruit look mouth-watering! On another wall of the same hangs a needlepoint of a smiling Greek girl, but the creator took the red of the mouth much too far, giving the girl a Joker-type leer. On another wall hangs a needlework of a shepherd with a goat being approached by a girl with a dog. To entertain myself while waiting for a meal, I write dialogue in my head about that one!
So cherish the abundance of bad art that you'll see everywhere around you, gratified by the fact that you probably could create better than at least half of what you see about!
- - It entered my mind the other day that no one plays the ocarina anymore; in fact, you could probably ask a crowd of people what an ocarina was to find few who knew. The ocarina is a strange little musical instrument looking like a potato with holes that is played with the mouth.
The ocarina is an obscure musical instrument in the same class as other little-known music-makers such as the jaw harp and kazoo. If you pulled out any of these devices today, you'd probably be wrestled to the ground as a probable terrorist as they are largely unrecognized in current times.
When I was a kid in long-ago times, we had and played kazoos; in fact, I participated in some great and spirited choruses of kid kazoo playing. I was pretty good with a kazoo, actually, and could produce lots of recognizable melodies. That was because in those primitive and medieval times, we didn't have and feel entitled to $200 hand-held video games...being ignorant, I didn't even realize how bad I had it!
The other day while watching a Jeopardy show, I aced all of the questions in a category about liquor without really trying. This might surprise anyone who knows me, because I haven't had an alcoholic drink in many years, and was never into drinking. I'm rather knowledgeable about alcoholic beverages, however, because of my mother!
Most people have mothers who teach them about flowers, birds, cooking, the social graces...you know, nice stuff! My mother, however, was rather heavily into beer, and actually couldn't enjoy the greatest meal in the best restaurant unless she was able to get beer served with it. My mother fit most definitions of being alcohol-dependent, and actually tried hard to get me to develop a taste for beer before I went away to college...she was not successful!- -Ain't that a kick in the head?--I disappointed my mother by not becoming a beer drinker! Through intensive exposure and vicarious learning, I came to know a lot about alcoholic beverages in general and beer in particular.
I came to know the inside of taverns even when a child, and was taken to bars while on family vacations.- - My mother actually had a beer can collection! I came to know the fine points of domestic versus imported beers, and it was not unusual for my parents to down a pitcher of beer with a restaurant meal. My mother consumed at least a quart a day, often having a "nightcap."
Some parents wind up being ashamed of their children's drinking...I wound up being ashamed of my mother's! Even when a senior citizen. she was actually cut off by bartenders in some establishments, a fact for which I give them credit. Alcoholism, you see, is not a problem restricted to the young...
...things like this are why I can't really get excited or nostalgic on Mother's Day...
-- I think that I was born furry, and had that animal-orientation even before I realized what it was and could attach a name to it. I had tons of comic books and watched countless hours of 'toons on TV, especially the classic Warner Brothers stuff. This interest and orientation continued into my teenaged years and into adulthood, albeit secretly...adults aren't supposed to still be watching cartoons or identifying with animal characters in them! It was actually kind of a solitary existence, since I never realized that there were others like myself until the advent of the internet.
How have 'toons changed since I was a kid?--Well, generally with some exceptions, production values are lower, and they aren't as well-drawn; story lines are far more daring, however, and go places that were utterly unthinkable way back when. More real life situations are covered as well, which means that 'toons have actually become somewhat therapeutic, almost psychotherapy for the masses. Edgy and dark things are not only acceptable, but are far more mainstream, and art and literature can be united in the best of them...
- - The way politics has gone lately (especially on the far right), one might think that the person who is correct is not the one with the best argument, but rather the one who states his viewpoint the most often and the loudest, preferably with the greatest intimidation factor...
...when and why did civil disagreement cease to exist in America?!
