Death Becomes Him...

 - - It's hard to believe that Michael Jackson's already been deceased for a year, and as for Elvis before him,  death has proven to be a smart career move for the late King of Pop.  His estate has reportedly earned about a billion dollars since his demise, with Jackson recordings flying off the shelves that were previously languishing there.

Now that Michael's gone, we'll also be hearing some new recordings, with the singer having recorded over 100 songs, many of which were not to be released until after his death, a gift to his children.  All of this means that "Blanket" won't have to worry about funds for college...

Now "Skynet Jesus?"

 - - In Ohio a six-story statue of Jesus constructed of wood and styrofoam over a steel frame was struck by lightning, and burned to the ground.  Dubbed the "Touchdown Jesus" because of the statue's pose, only the steel frame remains.  

This brings to mind the scene in The Terminator movie where the T-800 has his human flesh burned away, leaving  just the metallic endoskeleton marching about, still a deadly menace to the human characters...


...and wouldn't a six-story Jesus endoskeleton on the rampage be totally cool?

Bad Restaurant Art...

 - - There's a lot of really bad art hanging in restaurants, especially in the one- or two-star ones that I frequent (it's all about money, really)!  There's actually more bad art than good art about, and some of it is really interesting as you can sit there and ponder what the artists did wrong!

On one wall of one such restaurant, there's a still life featuring the classic basket of fruit, but this one is done so poorly that it makes wax fruit look mouth-watering!  On another wall of the same hangs a needlepoint of a smiling Greek girl, but the creator took the red of the mouth much too far, giving the girl a Joker-type leer.  On another wall hangs a needlework of a shepherd with a goat being approached by a girl with a dog.  To entertain myself while waiting for a meal, I write dialogue in my head about that one!

So cherish the abundance of bad art that you'll see everywhere around you, gratified by the fact that you probably could create better than at least half of what you see about!

Forgotten and Obscure Instruments...

 - - It entered my mind the other day that no one plays the ocarina anymore; in fact, you could probably ask a crowd of people what an ocarina was to find few who knew.  The ocarina is a strange little musical instrument looking like a potato with holes that is played with the mouth.

The ocarina is an obscure musical instrument in the same class as other little-known music-makers such as the jaw harp and kazoo.  If you pulled out any of these devices today, you'd probably be wrestled to the ground as a probable terrorist as they are largely unrecognized in current times.

When I was a kid in long-ago times, we had and played kazoos; in fact, I participated in some great and spirited choruses of kid kazoo playing.  I was pretty good with a kazoo, actually, and could produce lots of recognizable melodies.  That was because in those primitive and medieval times, we didn't have and feel entitled to $200 hand-held video games...being ignorant, I didn't even  realize how bad I had it!

Rum Dumb...

The other day while watching a Jeopardy show, I aced all of the questions in a category about liquor without really trying.   This might surprise anyone who knows me, because I haven't had an alcoholic drink in many years, and was never into drinking.  I'm rather knowledgeable about alcoholic beverages, however, because of my mother!

Most people have mothers who teach them about flowers, birds, cooking, the social graces...you know, nice stuff!  My mother, however, was rather heavily into beer, and actually couldn't enjoy the greatest meal in the best restaurant unless she was able to get beer served with it.  My mother fit most definitions of being alcohol-dependent, and actually tried hard to get me to develop a taste for beer before I went away to college...she was not successful!- -Ain't that a kick in the head?--I disappointed my mother by not becoming a beer drinker!   Through intensive exposure and vicarious learning, I came to know a lot about alcoholic beverages in general and beer in particular.

I came to know the inside of taverns even when a child, and was taken to bars while on family vacations.- - My mother actually had a beer can collection!  I came to know the fine points of domestic versus imported beers, and it was not unusual for my parents to down a pitcher of beer with a restaurant meal.  My mother consumed at least a quart a day, often having a "nightcap."

Some parents wind up being ashamed of their children's drinking...I wound up being ashamed of my mother's!   Even when a senior citizen. she was actually cut off by bartenders in some  establishments, a fact for which I give them credit.  Alcoholism, you see, is not a problem restricted to the young...

...things like this are why I can't really get excited or nostalgic on Mother's Day...

 

Furry Predestination...

 -- I think that I was born furry, and had that animal-orientation even before I realized what it was and could attach a name to it.  I had tons of comic books and watched countless hours of 'toons on TV, especially the classic Warner Brothers stuff.  This interest and orientation continued into my teenaged years and into adulthood, albeit secretly...adults aren't supposed to still be watching cartoons or identifying with animal characters in them!  It was actually kind of a solitary existence, since I never realized that there were others like myself until the advent of the internet.

How have 'toons changed since I was a kid?--Well, generally with some exceptions,  production values are lower, and they aren't as well-drawn; story lines are far more daring, however, and go places that were utterly unthinkable way back when.   More real life situations are covered as well, which means that 'toons have actually become somewhat therapeutic, almost psychotherapy for the masses.  Edgy and dark things are not only acceptable, but are far more mainstream, and art and literature can be united in the best of them...

He Who Yells Loudest...

 - - The way politics has gone lately (especially on the far right), one might think that the person who is correct is not the one with the best argument, but rather the one who states his viewpoint the most often and the loudest, preferably with the greatest intimidation factor...

...when and why did civil disagreement cease to exist in America?!

Sweet Irony!

 - - I picked up a ten dollar bill recently on which a wingnut-type had written some comments.  On one side, it was written, "9-11 was an inside job!"  On the other side of the bill, the handwritten legend read, "Back to the Constitution!"

Ironically, writing on currency is technically defacing it, which is a violation of the law.  The Constitution is the foundation of law, so the currency bill writer wasn't practicing what he preached!

Choose Your Apocalypse...

 - - Lots of people are hung up on December 21st, 2012 as the day when the global shop of mankind may be closed down owing to the Mayan calendar running out on that date...

...then you might wish to select the year 2018 as a cause for concern, as Terminator movies suggest that's when Skynet will become self-aware, and the War of the Machines will commence...

...or, you might prefer to look ahead to the year 2029, when astronomers say there's about a 1-in-37 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth!

In short, choose your doomsday...if any!  

Zip This!

 - - Have you ever gotten your zipper stuck?  I'm not going to talk about the zipper on your pants, which can add an additional dimension of urgency and humiliation to the problem, but just an ordinary run-of-the mill outerwear jacket zipper.  You're just about to go into a store, and you realize that the freakin' thing has gone off the track, and now your jacket is gaping open at the bottom and the top, with the zipper trolley (or whatever you call it) binding the coat only at the middle, and leaving you looking like the world's biggest dork...

...so you try to pull the zipper down to the bottom and get it back on the track, but the infernal thing just won't engage with the teeth there!  After trying the process several times, you're no longer feeling cool about it but are growing increasingly self-conscious, and beginning to feel that your coat has turned into a straight jacket!  As you still can't get the zipper to work, a mild feeling of panic sets in, your fingertips get shredded, and you begin to develop contingency plans in your mind for how to extricate yourself from your  jacket if the zipper continues to refuse to work...do you have the flexibility of a contortionist to wiggle out of it, do you beg someone like a kindergarten child for help, or do you take a knife to it, and try and cut your way out?--That's not an appealing prospect when you're dealing with a coat that you paid some major bucks for!  

More than half an hour later with my fingertips in tatters to say nothing of my composure, I finally got the zipper back on track and could take my coat off, which was a good thing since I was then in a restaurant...but I've seen another side to my once trusty leather jacket...

...and I'm just not sure that I trust it!

What Cats Know...

 - - Isn't he breathtaking?!--The Cheshire Cat from the upcoming Tim Burton version of Alice In Wonderland, that is?--I've always thought that the Cheshire Cat was very cool, both because of the toothy grin and also the de-materializing capabilities. In the Tim Burton interpretation, the Cheshire Cat is a marvelous creature with glowing eyes and a mouth that's almost all teeth, kinda like the Langoliers creatures as envisioned by Stephen King in his novella of the same name.

Cats have quite a hold on the human psyche, extending back to the days of their earliest domestication in ancient Egypt.  I think that's because cats are not really domesticated, you see...they choose to be here, because living in a human household makes things easier for them!  Cats are elemental and primal at core, almost a force of nature.

At times portrayed as at least mildly evil or the familiars of witches, the cat can never be fully controlled, muchless completely figured out...and bless them for being that way!  A dog will dance in joy when you return to your house...a cat will regard you as if to say, "Oh!--Were you away?"  One can't help but admire the independence, athleticism, and mystery of this magnificent animal....

...and who's really in charge here?--I clean out the toilets of my cats...they sure don't clean mine!

Insomnia...

- - I'm an insomniac, and it's a rare night when I get more than six hours of sleep; that's on a really good night! I can get to sleep, eventually...then I'll sleep for several hours, and wake up in the middle of the night. They consider this a sleep maintenance problem, and sleep disorders are rather poorly understood.

...believe me, they have some freaky stuff on television in the middle of the night; infomercials, endless Ex-tenze commercials, the dreadful Girls Gone Wild ads, and vintage movies and TV shows, many of which were worthless to begin with. Billy Mays still roams the airwaves hawking products in his "yell and sell" style, like some kind of electronic zombie, dead but still offensively selling. When I awaken, I'll watch such fare until my brain shuts down, and I can get back to sleep again...maybe!

Was it Poe who called sleep, "little slices of death?" I'm beginning to understand why...

Christmas Torment

- - Very few things hold up decently twenty years after their creation, be it cars, movies, or whatever. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is one of the few films that has held up well after two decades, and still manages to capture the agony of the Xmas season, with its atmosphere of forced merriment, excessive decorations, and reunions with dreadful relatives. As Ellen Griswold expresses it in the film, "It's Xmas...we're all in misery."

If you've heard one Xmas carol too many, can't stand the thought of being in close quarters with relatives you can't stand, or are just sick to death already of a holiday that's come to span essentially two months, Christmas Vacation's the perfect antidote!

Not Afraid...

-- I'm not afraid of coyotes. I know that they will paint a target in the middle of the highway, fill it with Acme birdseed, and then attempt to drop a piano on my head when I bend down to eat...

Black Friday Madness...

- - What exactly is it that possesses people to rouse themselves before dawn and join masses of like-minded shoppers to wait for store gates to open at four a.m. and earlier the day after Thanksgiving? You may get a few bargains, but is it really worth it? I know of one person in my immediate area who waited in line for an hour and twenty minutes to check out at the cash register with just a few items. Some people really get off on this kind of competitive shopping...it's almost a bloodlust kind of thing.

The spirit manifested by some Xmas shoppers is so very un-Christmas as to make your heart bleed, an attitude of get out of my way, and gimme mine! People have actually been trampled to death by the human herd....

...and isn't it ironic that this annual orgy of materialism is supposedly to commemorate Christ, who himself owned little except for the clothes on his back?

Evolution's Anniversary...

- - It was 150 years ago in November of 1859 that Charles Darwin published and expounded upon his theory of evolution and natural selection.

Although evolution has become a cornerstone of the sciences, it remarkably remains controversial in some circles. The doctrines of so-called "scientific creationism" and "intelligent design" continue to be dragged before school boards for inclusion in a science curriculum, although neither is scientific and both are essentially religious dogma masquerading as science.

Belief in God and evolution need not be mutually exclusive, despite the contentions of some religious fundamentalists. I find it far more marvelous to think of the deity as continuing to refine His creation through evolution rather than render it the product of a single, static act...

...have patience with others.-- God's not done with us yet!

Reiki and Animals...

--Reiki ("Universal Life Force" in Japanese) is a form of healing for the self and others involving touch that originated from Tibetan Buddhism over 2,000 years ago and was re-discovered and re-defined by Dr. Usui in the late 19th century. Much more recently, Reiki has enjoyed a resurgent popularity as a form of adjunct therapy to more traditional medical practices. I regard it as a wellness technique.

Why Reiki is brought up here is that it recognizes different kinds of animals, and offers "attunements" which may link us more closely to the spirits and essences of those animals...

...and yes, I have Fox medicine empowerment...

Christmas Overkill...

-- Christmas has become the Godzilla of holidays, a two-month monster. I got my first indicator shortly after Halloween, when a store bag given me bore the legend, "Enjoy the holidays!"--Yipes! The Xmas carols started blaring shortly after that.

How, oh how, do disc jockeys at "All Xmas music, all the time" stations manage to keep their sanity between Halloween and December 25th? For that matter, pity the poor store clerks who must suffer this auditory assault as well.-- Yeah, Xmas music is nice and all that...but to have to listen to it incessantly for about two months straight?!-- Truly cruel and unusual punishment.

...and pity poor Thanksgiving!--A dandy little non-commercial holiday, the observance of which is all but eclipsed by the Xmas juggernaut waiting to blow it off the road!--Could we shift Thanksgiving to maybe January and give it a little room to breathe?

--Can't we please just stuff a dead bird with stale bread, and eat it?

Coyote Tails

A coyote walked into a Quiznos in Chicago...it sounds like the opening line of a joke, but it really happened! The doors of the establishment were propped open, it being a warm day and all, when in walked a coyote! Maybe he had a hankering for a toasted sub, or just wanted a Gatoraide...we may never know. But the coyote plopped himself down by a cooler in the store, where he seemed calm and content. It was all caught on the store security tape!

Well, animal control removed the coyote, and he's now being cared for in an animal shelter. Poor coyote never got to use his coupon, either!!!

Misspelled...

True story: A witch in Germany took a contract to work their magic and return a woman's boyfriend to her. The witch did their thing with spells and incantations, but the woman did not regain the boyfriend's affections. The woman who had engaged the witch's services sued in court and won! The court ruled that the services advertised were not effective, and did not deliver the promised result. A fair amount of money was involved, the equivalent of several thousand dollars.

Now things might have turned out differently if the witch had used a spell checker...